Classic Friars Roasts: What’s the difference between God and Bono?

 

What’s the difference between God and Bono?

 

“God doesn’t walk around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.”

 

Dear Friends,

The Irish are well known for having the “gift of the gab,” and Ireland is a country full of humor where the ability to “banter” is regarded as a high skill. The Irish are a nation of natural roasters; they poke fun at themselves, at their family members and friends, at their fellow countrymen, and at anyone who happens to be sitting next to them at the dinner table – not unlike the comedy legends in the Classic Friars Roasts, where the ability to laugh at yourself is as essential as making others laugh. In true roasting fashion, a bit of joking is how the Irish show affection and insert a good dose of humor into their daily lives. It’s all in good fun, and they believe that laughter truly is the best medicine, making any hardship bearable.

And, as would be expected in a nation of comedians, the Irish have some favorite things to joke about. These are the topics that prompt endless laughs from an Irish audience while making a cultural commentary on the customs of their own country, their famous citizens and their neighbors as a method of describing the Irish way and the state of the world.

Being so closely connected, the Irish love to poke fun at their neighboring countries. It’s the Irish way of being friendly, after all, and the cultural differences between the closely located countries – England, Scotland and Ireland – makes for endless comedic material. The “Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman” joke format has become a famous way for the Irish to highlight funny differences among the neighbors. These are some popular jokes about England, Ireland, and Scotland:

Q: What’s the best thing that ever happened between England and Ireland?
A: The Irish Sea!

Never ask a foreigner where he is from.  If he is not English he will tell you within a few minutes, and if he is English, why embarrass him?

They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke.  The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went to a party.  The Englishman took six bottles of beer.  The Irishman took six crates of Guinness.  The Scotsman took six friends.

There’s an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. They’re being chased by the police. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the cop and he sees these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. The Englishman shouts out, “Woof Woof,” and the cop thinks it’s just an old dog, leaves it, and kicks the second sack. The Scotsman yells out, “Me-ow me-ow,” and he leaves this one as well thinking it’s just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and the Irishman yells out.. “Potatoes, Potatoes..!”

Clearly, the Irish also have no problem laughing at themselves. Seeing the funny side of life is, after all, an essential part of being Irish, and there are endless Irish jokes about their own country as there are about others:

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.
“Lord,” he prayed. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday.”  Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: “Never mind, I found one!”   His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Paddy. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the Sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Paddy.

Of course, with this tendency to poke a little fun at those near and dear to them, the Irish have plenty of jokes about their celebrities, too. U2 is the biggest band to come out of Ireland in recent decades, and if you ask anyone in Europe or in the U.S. to name one famous Irish person, Bono would be a top answer. Needless to say, the Irish have had plenty of time to build up a sizeable canon of Bono jokes. He would be the ultimate celebrity roast for the Irish. So lastly, here is the most famous Irish roast of Bono:

What’s the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn’t walk around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.

If these jokes have put you in the mood for more comedy roasts, you’re in the right place. Classic Friars Roastsoffers a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time, including comedy legends such as Jack Benny, Milton Berle, Johnny Carson, Jerry Lewis and Don Rickles. Now also available to stream online to keep the laughs coming. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Luck of the Irish! Take 17% off Classic Friars Roasts until March 18th!

Use the coupon code “IRISH” at checkout. Coupon valid until March 18th.

Q & A Hot Sheet:

Q: Are there any Irish jokes by the Classic Friars Club members?

A: Milton Berle told a famous joke about the Irish: that Irish Gourmet Cooking is among the shortest books in the world.

Q: If there was an Irish celebrity Roastmaster, who would it be?

A: The first candidate would be Tommy Tiernan, the most famous (or infamous) Irish comedian. He has a reputation for being unfiltered and having no off-limit jokes – anyone is a potential target, and he has roasted many celebrities over the years in his routines, making the audience both laugh and cringe.

Q: Where can I learn more about Classic Friars Roasts?

A: Visit our Website for membership information rates and DVD product offerings, to read our blog, or to sign up for our Newsletter, where you’ll receive special offers and news.

Posts you may have missed:

Why Laughing Your Heart Out Is Great for Your Health

Classic Friars Roasts Now Available With Online Streaming

GREAT NEWS: You can now watch Friars Club Roasts online anytime, anywhere on your laptop, TV, phone and tablet! Streaming memberships are available for $11.66/month, $28.74/quarter or a best value of only $95.52/year. Call us today at 866-987-3678 to order your Friars Club Roast DVDs or start your membership, and then pull up a turkey leg and get ready for some side-splitting viewing fun.

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at https://www.classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos in time for Thanksgiving. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.

SPECIAL VALENTINE’S OFFER: 10% Off Friars Roasts

Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Love and Laughter

Happy Valentine’s Day from Classic Friars Roasts. Since it’s inception as The National Press Agents Association (1904) the Friars Club has been known for its irreverent and bawdy humor. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, it could serve you well to remember the important connection between humor and romance; humor is consistently ranked in the top 5 traits people look for in a mate. Many people feel the pressure to deliver the perfect romantic experience for their significant other on Valentine’s Day, but this doesn’t mean you have to break your budget (or your back) executing an extravagant and elaborate event. Why not plan a romantic evening at home enjoying some of the best comedy roasts of all time? Set the mood with some romantic lighting, prepare dinner for two, cue the DVD and snuggle up to enjoy an evening of love and laughter.

Be sure to include the Classic Friars Roast of Jack Benny in your viewing line-up! Jack Benny was born on Valentine’s Day 1894 as Benjamin Kubelesky. A number of conflicts with other performers over his name led to the adoption of “Jack Benny” as his permanent moniker, a name (and character) that grew to be loved by a nation. Benny got his start in Vaudeville, eventually moving on to radio. “The Jack Benny Program” played on the airwaves from 1932-1950 and featured comedy sketches that centered around a regular cast of characters. It was adapted for television, running from 1950-1965, where it became a variety show featuring an impressive list of celebrity guests. He was also featured in a number of movies including the Academy Award winning “The Holiday Revue of 1929”.

Benny had the good fortune to marry and work with the love of his life, Mary Livingstone (born Sayde Marks). The two met when she was a young girl who caught his attention by refusing to laugh at one of his performances. They would occasionally run into each other over the next few years but it took some time before they began to date. The couple finally married in 1927 when Benny convinced her to break her engagement to another man to marry him. They worked together on “The Jack Benny Program” radio show, but Mary ceased performing when it went to television.

No marriage is perfect, and theirs was no exception. Benny summed this up perfectly in his comment “My wife Mary and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” In true romantic fashion he made sure to show that his love for her was eternal, even surviving his death. Benny passed away in 1974 but prior to his death he arranged for one final gesture of love. Each day from his passing until her own in 1983, Mary received a single red rose from her husband as a symbol of their love.

Classic Friars Roasts Valentine’s Zingers:

Give your loved one the gift of laughter this Valentine’s Day. We’ve compiled a list of classic Valentine’s Day zingers that are sure to have you and that special someone laughing all night long!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn’t find a date!

Q: What do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I’m stuck on you.

Q: What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
A: I find you attractive.

Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: Ughs and kisses.

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love ewe!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.

Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

GREAT NEWS: You can now watch Friars Club Roasts online anytime, anywhere on your laptop, TV, phone and tablet! Streaming memberships are available for $11.66/month, $28.74/quarter or a best value of only $95.52/year. Call us today at 866-987-3678 to order your Friars Club Roast DVDs or start your membership, and then pull up a turkey leg and get ready for some side-splitting viewing fun.

Wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day from Classic Friars Roasts!

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at https://www.classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos in time for Thanksgiving. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.

SPECIAL THANKSGIVING OFFER: 20% Off Friars Roasts Until Dec 1st!

You might not think Thanksgiving is very funny, but once you get past the stress of cooking, crazy relatives, and shopping until you drop, you really should take some time to sit back with your family and laugh at some of the best comedy roasts of all time from Classic Friars Club Roasts.

The Friars started in New York City in the early 1900s. Eventually they organized dinners to celebrate a member, which eventually evolved (or devolved) into what we have come to know and love as a Friars Club roast. Over time, these events took on legendary proportions with speakers taking to the dais to present some of their rowdiest and most outlandish material in a no-holds-barred attempt to outdo and outperform each other. Fortunately some of these epic celebrity roasts have been preserved and are now available for your viewing pleasure.

Start the holiday shopping early, or order the DVDs yourself so you can watch them over and over again. Save over 10% when you purchase a five-volume special edition box set of the Classic Friars Club Roasts for only $89.95 plus $11.95 S&H. You’ll receive the Johnny Carson DVD, Milton Berle roast, and so much more. Plus, you’ll also receive the Don Rickles and Don Adams Classic Outtakes DVD containing hilarious comedy sketches never before seen on TV.

SPECIAL THANKSGIVING OFFER:  20% OFF THE COST OF DVD’S UNTIL DEC 1st!

• Don Rickles: Well-known for doling out insults and trouncing egos of anyone within earshot, Don Rickles has regaled millions with his sweeping barbs. Early in his career, he was brave enough to take a swipe at Frank Sinatra by dead-panning, “Make yourself at home Frank. Hit somebody.” Fortunately Sinatra found him hilarious, and Rickles went on to become the worst nightmare for any guest of honor at a roast. Our Don Rickles videos feature some of his best take-downs.
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• Johnny Carson: Better known as the king of late-night television, Johnny Carson was also a tremendous comedian in his own right. Viewers loved his banter with Ed McMahon and guests as much as the incredible characters he created like Art Fern and Carnac the Magnificent. When it comes to roasting, though, the Johnny Carson videos will show that he relied on a quick wit and sophisticated sense of humor to get the job done.
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• Jerry Lewis: Renowned worldwide for his movies and strangely beloved in France, Jerry Lewis turned a partnership with Dean Martin into comedy gold. After their acrimonious break-up he went on to solo in movies such as “The Bellboy,” “The Nutty Professor,” “The Errand Boy,” and “The Patsy.” He won critical acclaim in serious films such as “The King of Comedy” and “Funny Bones,” while his work for the Muscular Dystrophy Association raised millions for the organization. He has also earned the title of Abbot of the Friars Club and was the object of several celebrations. Our DVD of the Jerry Lewis roast is a true comedy gem.
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• Milton Berle: Before becoming known to a generation of television-addled youth in the Golden Era of TV, Milton Berle honed his comedic talents in the Borscht Belt of the Northeast. He perfected the double take, the spit take, and the take down as well as a visual and physical form of slapstick that were sure to elicit howls of delight from his audience. His popular variety show, NBC’s “Texaco Star Theater” helped sell more TV sets in the early days of the medium than any other individual. During his tenure as head of the Friars Club he was a master of the Roast. Nobody was safe from his skewering – or his legendary wit.
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• Jack Benny: Old “Mister Cheapskate” himself was one of the leading entertainers of the 20th century and a comedy legend. His signature pregnant pause or exasperated “WELL!” made audiences fall instantly in love with his patter. His radio and television family included Eddie Anderson as Rochester, Mel Blanc, Dennis Day, Phil Harris, and his real life wife Mary Livingston. Together they formed the precursor for today’s sitcom ensemble format. They were his foils for laughter, while his deadpan expressions spoke volumes. Eternally 39, Benny was immortalized forever in his very own Friars Club Roast.
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A: What a strange question – wouldn’t you run, too, if there was somebody looking longingly in your direction and calling you “dinner?”

A: In fact they do, but it took quite some time to get to that point. Phyllis Diller once dressed as a man to get inside and see what the fuss was all about. Lauren Bacall sent an audio tape when they honored Humphrey Bogart. Since then, some of the women roastees have included Phyllis Diller, Sophie Tucker, Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett.

 

Q: Which roast is the funniest?

A: They all crack us up, but the DVD where Dean Martin roasts Don Rickles is one of our all-time favorites. Old Dino played the part of the lovable lush to perfection but he could certainly get serious when it came to delivering a punch line.

A: Why didn’t we think of that sooner? Seriously, though, who doesn’t love a good laugh? And these are some of the best jokes that you and the lucky recipient will ever hear.

GREAT NEWS: You can now watch Friars Club Roasts online anytime, anywhere on your laptop, TV, phone and tablet! Streaming memberships are available for $11.66/month, $28.74/quarter or a best value of only $95.52/year. Call us today at 866-987-3678 to order your Friars Club Roast DVDs or start your membership, and then pull up a turkey leg and get ready for some side-splitting viewing fun.

Thanksgiving Morsels About Friars Club Roast Stars

We’re not pulling your leg – here are some great tidbits about some of the celebrity stars who appear in the Classic Friars Club Roasts DVDs:

Thanksgiving Q&A with Friars Club Roasts

Q: So why did the turkey cross the road?

Q: Don’t they ever roast women?

Q: Would these make a good holiday gift?

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at http://classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos in time for Thanksgiving. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.

Classic Friars Roasts Launches New Web Site

Santa Barbara, CA – Classic Friars Roasts unveiled a new user-focused website this month.

The new web site, located at http://www.ClassicFriarsRoasts.com, features a user friendly layout aimed at helping fans of Classic Friars Roasts to easier navigate the web page, and learn more about the friars celebrity roasts.  The site also offers educational and historical information about the Friars Roasts.

“We’re excited about the new site,” said Jed Smith, co-founder. “We wanted the fans to have easier access to a wealth of information about the roasts.  Over time, we are planning to build out the site as an excellent source of historical information about these comedy greats.”

Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection featuring the best comedy roasts of all time. Comedy Sketches From Jack Benny, Jerry Lewis, Milton Berle, Don Rickles, Johnny Carson, Alan King, and Jack Carter, Don Adams, Phyllis Diller and more. 

You’ll split your sides and laugh hysterically when Don Rickles roasts the legendary Johnny Carson. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from Milton Berle, Alan King, and Jack Carter. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the Johnny Carson videos from The Tonight Show.

No comedy show today can equal the inspired genius of a Friars Club roast. Learn more about the Friars Club History and “LIKE” on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/celebrityroasts for hilarious out takes and rare clips of these legendary comedians.