Classic Friars Roasts: What’s the difference between God and Bono?

 

What’s the difference between God and Bono?

 

“God doesn’t walk around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.”

 

Dear Friends,

The Irish are well known for having the “gift of the gab,” and Ireland is a country full of humor where the ability to “banter” is regarded as a high skill. The Irish are a nation of natural roasters; they poke fun at themselves, at their family members and friends, at their fellow countrymen, and at anyone who happens to be sitting next to them at the dinner table – not unlike the comedy legends in the Classic Friars Roasts, where the ability to laugh at yourself is as essential as making others laugh. In true roasting fashion, a bit of joking is how the Irish show affection and insert a good dose of humor into their daily lives. It’s all in good fun, and they believe that laughter truly is the best medicine, making any hardship bearable.

And, as would be expected in a nation of comedians, the Irish have some favorite things to joke about. These are the topics that prompt endless laughs from an Irish audience while making a cultural commentary on the customs of their own country, their famous citizens and their neighbors as a method of describing the Irish way and the state of the world.

Being so closely connected, the Irish love to poke fun at their neighboring countries. It’s the Irish way of being friendly, after all, and the cultural differences between the closely located countries – England, Scotland and Ireland – makes for endless comedic material. The “Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman” joke format has become a famous way for the Irish to highlight funny differences among the neighbors. These are some popular jokes about England, Ireland, and Scotland:

Q: What’s the best thing that ever happened between England and Ireland?
A: The Irish Sea!

Never ask a foreigner where he is from.  If he is not English he will tell you within a few minutes, and if he is English, why embarrass him?

They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke.  The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went to a party.  The Englishman took six bottles of beer.  The Irishman took six crates of Guinness.  The Scotsman took six friends.

There’s an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. They’re being chased by the police. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the cop and he sees these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. The Englishman shouts out, “Woof Woof,” and the cop thinks it’s just an old dog, leaves it, and kicks the second sack. The Scotsman yells out, “Me-ow me-ow,” and he leaves this one as well thinking it’s just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and the Irishman yells out.. “Potatoes, Potatoes..!”

Clearly, the Irish also have no problem laughing at themselves. Seeing the funny side of life is, after all, an essential part of being Irish, and there are endless Irish jokes about their own country as there are about others:

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.
“Lord,” he prayed. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday.”  Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: “Never mind, I found one!”   His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Paddy. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the Sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Paddy.

Of course, with this tendency to poke a little fun at those near and dear to them, the Irish have plenty of jokes about their celebrities, too. U2 is the biggest band to come out of Ireland in recent decades, and if you ask anyone in Europe or in the U.S. to name one famous Irish person, Bono would be a top answer. Needless to say, the Irish have had plenty of time to build up a sizeable canon of Bono jokes. He would be the ultimate celebrity roast for the Irish. So lastly, here is the most famous Irish roast of Bono:

What’s the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn’t walk around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.

If these jokes have put you in the mood for more comedy roasts, you’re in the right place. Classic Friars Roastsoffers a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time, including comedy legends such as Jack Benny, Milton Berle, Johnny Carson, Jerry Lewis and Don Rickles. Now also available to stream online to keep the laughs coming. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Luck of the Irish! Take 17% off Classic Friars Roasts until March 18th!

Use the coupon code “IRISH” at checkout. Coupon valid until March 18th.

Q & A Hot Sheet:

Q: Are there any Irish jokes by the Classic Friars Club members?

A: Milton Berle told a famous joke about the Irish: that Irish Gourmet Cooking is among the shortest books in the world.

Q: If there was an Irish celebrity Roastmaster, who would it be?

A: The first candidate would be Tommy Tiernan, the most famous (or infamous) Irish comedian. He has a reputation for being unfiltered and having no off-limit jokes – anyone is a potential target, and he has roasted many celebrities over the years in his routines, making the audience both laugh and cringe.

Q: Where can I learn more about Classic Friars Roasts?

A: Visit our Website for membership information rates and DVD product offerings, to read our blog, or to sign up for our Newsletter, where you’ll receive special offers and news.

Posts you may have missed:

Why Laughing Your Heart Out Is Great for Your Health

Classic Friars Roasts Now Available With Online Streaming

GREAT NEWS: You can now watch Friars Club Roasts online anytime, anywhere on your laptop, TV, phone and tablet! Streaming memberships are available for $11.66/month, $28.74/quarter or a best value of only $95.52/year. Call us today at 866-987-3678 to order your Friars Club Roast DVDs or start your membership, and then pull up a turkey leg and get ready for some side-splitting viewing fun.

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at https://www.classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos in time for Thanksgiving. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.

Quote on Filmmaking as an Art by Kenneth Lonergan

An Entertainment Quote from Eric Balfour

Classic Comedy Sketches: Why Laughing Your Heart Out is Great For Your Health

They say that laughter is the world’s best medicine.  Have you ever wondered why you feel better after a good laugh? You feel more relaxed. You don’t feel any tensions in your muscles.  Here are 5 reasons why laughing to your heart’s content  will improve your health.

Laughter is a Stress-buster

In a world where almost anywhere you look there is something to be stressed about, laughter holds the key to improving the way you fight stress. Studies have shown that laughter can significantly reduce the amount of cortisol and epinephrine in the body. This effectively reduces the body’s response to stress.

A little stress every now and then is not actually a bad thing.  It can make us aware of a situation that requires our attention. However, in the process of addressing this stress, we use up energy. This is why you feel your heartbeat go faster, your muscles tense, and you experience rapid breathing. This is in an effort to prepare the body to face and manage stress. However, if stress is not immediately controlled, it can escalate into severe stress requiring cortisol to be released. Unfortunately, cortisol leaves you feeling exhausted.

Laughter decreases the need for epinephrine and cortisol by acting on the part of the brain that releases natural endorphins as well as the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. Known as the ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin can significantly improve the way you feel about things. Simply put, these substances will enhance your mood and make you focus more on the more pleasurable things in life. In other words, laughter can make you feel less stressed.

Laughter is Good for your Heart

While it is true that you can almost feel your heart pounding in your chest after laughing, this is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, studies show that laughter is excellent in keeping your heart in tip-top shape. The improved blood circulation produced by the stimulation and release of natural endorphins from the brain allows the more efficient delivery of oxygen to the muscles of your heart. This leads to improved cardiac output. Increasing cardiac output naturally improves the delivery of invaluable oxygen and nutrients to the different cells and tissues of the body. More importantly, these endorphins have been shown to stimulate the synthesis of nitric oxide which can provide the heart with natural protection in terms of reduced inflammation of the heart’s blood vessels and reduced clumping of platelets to prevent blood clots.

Some studies even go on to recommend laughter yoga as a means of improving overall oxygenation of the tissues of the body. This facilitates the enhanced metabolic processes of individual cells. And when you have a fully functioning cell, you have a healthier body. This is especially true for the heart because it is the one kind of muscle that never stops contracting. Because of this, the muscles of the heart require substantial amounts of oxygen and nutrients to keep it pumping without tiring. Conditioning it by increasing the number of contractions per minute can also enhance the ability of its muscle fibers to contract, making them more efficient. This is the principle behind cardiovascular endurance workouts. You don’t need to go to the gym to make sure that your heart gets a good workout. Sharing heart-felt laughter with your friends is more than enough to maintain a healthy heart.

Laughter Protects you from Diseases

Did you know that laughter can boost your immune system? By decreasing the levels of stress hormones, laughter also decreases the risk of inflammation. You see, many of these stress hormones produce inflammation in the body. Inflammatory conditions are always the beginning of disease processes. The more you laugh, the lesser is the risk for the development of inflammatory conditions, and the healthier you become.

Additionally, studies have shown that laughter can increase the levels of lymphocytic T-cells in your blood. These white blood cells are responsible for a host of immune protective processes. There are seven types of T-cells that function in a variety of ways but ultimately leading to protecting the body against disease-carrying microorganisms. Some T-cells help other immune cells fight infection while others destroy cells that have been infected as well as cells that carry a mutagenic element. Other T-cells produce antibodies and assist the innate immune processes of the body.  In other words, you will simply get sick less often with laughter in your life.

Laughter is a Great Way to Relax

Laughing stimulates the release of inhibitory neurotransmitters from the brain. Gamma-aminobutyric acid and serotonin have both been observed to be especially beneficial in inducing relaxation. These neurotransmitters block nerve impulse transmission so what you get is a more relaxed, calmer state of the body. Additionally, laughing stretches your muscles which has been shown to produce a very relaxing effect. Its stress-busting effect can also help provide for a more relaxing after-effect. Why not just devote a few hours of no-holds-barred jokes and roasting of your friends instead of spending hundreds of dollars on a relaxing spa or massage session? It is a very inexpensive way to relax. Besides, nothing beats laughter shared in the company of friends.

Laughter is Better than Prescription Analgesics

Well, almost. Laughter stimulates the production and secretion of natural endorphins from the brain. These interact with opiate receptors in order to affect your ability to perceive pain. This is the same action of prescription narcotic analgesics like Vicodin and OxyContin. In short, you simply will not recognize the pain. The good news? Laughter will not bring you to the emergency room because of an overdose. It will also not put you into a comatose state attached to an artificial ventilator. Additionally, laughter will not kill you. Instead of popping a pill or two, why not just spend an hour or two watching the comic classics of Friars Roasts?

Laughing is free. No one can prevent you from laughing to your heart’s content. With the many health benefits of laughter, it is no wonder why many watch roasting events a lot more than toasting celebrations. Not impressed? Put on that DVD of the Friars Roasts’ Classics and ask yourself if you haven’t felt a lot better afterwards.

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at https://www.classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.

John William "Johnny" Carson: Comic Characters

John William "Johnny" Carson (October 23, 1925 – January 23, 2005) was an American television host, comedian, writer, producer, actor, and musician, best known for his thirty years as host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962–1992). Carson received six Emmy Awards, the Governor's Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award. He was inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1987. Johnny Carson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1992 and received a Kennedy Center Honor in 1993.

Although his show was already successful by the end of the 1960s, during the 1970s Carson became an American icon and remained so even after his retirement in 1992. He adopted a casual, conversational approach with extensive interaction with guests, an approach pioneered by Arthur Godfrey and previous Tonight Show hosts Steve Allen and Jack Paar. Former late-night host and friend, David Letterman, cited Carson's influence.

Carson played several continuing characters on sketches during the show, including:

Art Fern, the "Tea Time Movie" announcer,[20] whose theme song was "Hooray for Hollywood". Carson once admitted on camera that this was his favorite character, based on late-afternoon TV hosts who would deliver commercials throughout the movie. Each sketch usually featured three long commercials interrupted by silent, four-second clips from antique films. When the camera returned from each clip, Art was always caught off-guard and immediately reminded viewers that they were watching a film favorite. The movies always had unlikely casts and even less likely titles: "Slim Pickens, Patti Page, Duke Wayne, and Charlton Heston in another classic Western: 'Kiss My Saddle Horn'!" Carson originally played the fast-talking huckster in his own voice (as Honest Bernie Schlock or Ralph Willie), and finally settled on a nasal, high-pitched, smarmy drone, reminiscent of Jackie Gleason's "Reginald Van Gleason III" character. The character, now permanently known as Art Fern, wore a lavish toupee, loud jackets, and a pencil mustache. 

Actress Carol Wayne became famous for her 100-plus appearances (1971–1982) as Art's buxom assistant, the Matinée Lady. While Art gave his spiel, she would enter the stage behind him. Art would react to her attractive body, wincing loudly: "Ho — leeeee!" After Carol Wayne's death in 1985, Carson kept Art Fern off the air for most of the next year, and finally hired Danuta Wesley and then Teresa Ganzel to play the Matinée Lady. Carson also used these sketches to poke fun at the intricate Los Angeles interstate system, using a pointer and map to give confusing directions to shoppers, often including points where he would unfold the cardboard map to point out, via the appropriate picture, when the shopper would arrive at "the fork in the road". Another freeway routine in the same theme centered on the "Slauson Cutoff", a slang term Carson popularized to describe the truncated Marina Freeway (which ended abrubtly at Slauson Avenue in Culver City).

Art Fern would advise drivers to take a series of freeways until they reached the Slauson Cutoff, and would then advise them to "Get out of your car, cut off your slauson, get back in your car," often followed by peals of laughter from the audience, led by McMahon.

Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic who could answer questions before seeing them. Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onto stage and then tripped on the step up to Carson's desk. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carson's desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it.) These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnac's true prescient abilities.

Ed McMahon would hand Carnac a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been "hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar buried under Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today." Carnac would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as "Gatorade." Then he would read the question: "What does an alligator get on welfare?" Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carnac's lack of comic success ("Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings"), prompting Carson to return an equal insult.

Pat McCormick wrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. The one that had Ed and Carnac nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was "Siss, boom, bah" Answer – "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes." McMahon would always announce near the end, "I hold in my hand the last envelope," at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic "curse" on the audience, such as "May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!!" "May your sister elope with a camel!", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister", or, the most famous: "May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!"

Floyd R. Turbo, American (with no pause between words). A stereotypical common working man, wearing a plaid hunting coat and cap, who offered "editorial responses" to left-leaning causes or news events. Railing against women's rights in the workplace, for example, Turbo would shout: "This raises the question: kiss my Dictaphone!"

Aunt Blabby, a cantankerous and sometimes amorous old lady, invariably being interviewed by straight man Ed McMahon about elder affairs.[20] McMahon would innocently use a common expression like "check out", only to have Aunt Blabby warn him: "Don't say 'check out' to an old person!" Aunt Blabby was an obvious copy of Jonathan Winters' most famous creation, Maude Frickert, including her black spinster dress and wig.

El Mouldo, a mentalist, who would attempt to perform mind-reading and mind-over-matter feats, all of which failed. Often his tricks would include an attempt to bilk money from Ed McMahon or would end with him begging the audience for a dollar, or at least bus fare.

The Maharishi, whose theme song was "Song of India". This frizzy-haired "holy man" spoke in a high-pitched, tranquil tone, greeted announcer McMahon with a flower, and answered philosophical questions.

Source: Wikipedia

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SPECIAL VALENTINE’S OFFER: 10% Off Friars Roasts

Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Love and Laughter

Happy Valentine’s Day from Classic Friars Roasts. Since it’s inception as The National Press Agents Association (1904) the Friars Club has been known for its irreverent and bawdy humor. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, it could serve you well to remember the important connection between humor and romance; humor is consistently ranked in the top 5 traits people look for in a mate. Many people feel the pressure to deliver the perfect romantic experience for their significant other on Valentine’s Day, but this doesn’t mean you have to break your budget (or your back) executing an extravagant and elaborate event. Why not plan a romantic evening at home enjoying some of the best comedy roasts of all time? Set the mood with some romantic lighting, prepare dinner for two, cue the DVD and snuggle up to enjoy an evening of love and laughter.

Be sure to include the Classic Friars Roast of Jack Benny in your viewing line-up! Jack Benny was born on Valentine’s Day 1894 as Benjamin Kubelesky. A number of conflicts with other performers over his name led to the adoption of “Jack Benny” as his permanent moniker, a name (and character) that grew to be loved by a nation. Benny got his start in Vaudeville, eventually moving on to radio. “The Jack Benny Program” played on the airwaves from 1932-1950 and featured comedy sketches that centered around a regular cast of characters. It was adapted for television, running from 1950-1965, where it became a variety show featuring an impressive list of celebrity guests. He was also featured in a number of movies including the Academy Award winning “The Holiday Revue of 1929”.

Benny had the good fortune to marry and work with the love of his life, Mary Livingstone (born Sayde Marks). The two met when she was a young girl who caught his attention by refusing to laugh at one of his performances. They would occasionally run into each other over the next few years but it took some time before they began to date. The couple finally married in 1927 when Benny convinced her to break her engagement to another man to marry him. They worked together on “The Jack Benny Program” radio show, but Mary ceased performing when it went to television.

No marriage is perfect, and theirs was no exception. Benny summed this up perfectly in his comment “My wife Mary and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” In true romantic fashion he made sure to show that his love for her was eternal, even surviving his death. Benny passed away in 1974 but prior to his death he arranged for one final gesture of love. Each day from his passing until her own in 1983, Mary received a single red rose from her husband as a symbol of their love.

Classic Friars Roasts Valentine’s Zingers:

Give your loved one the gift of laughter this Valentine’s Day. We’ve compiled a list of classic Valentine’s Day zingers that are sure to have you and that special someone laughing all night long!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn’t find a date!

Q: What do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I’m stuck on you.

Q: What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
A: I find you attractive.

Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: Ughs and kisses.

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love ewe!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.

Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

GREAT NEWS: You can now watch Friars Club Roasts online anytime, anywhere on your laptop, TV, phone and tablet! Streaming memberships are available for $11.66/month, $28.74/quarter or a best value of only $95.52/year. Call us today at 866-987-3678 to order your Friars Club Roast DVDs or start your membership, and then pull up a turkey leg and get ready for some side-splitting viewing fun.

Wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day from Classic Friars Roasts!

About Classic Friars Club Roasts: Classic Friars Roasts is a DVD collection of the best comedy roasts of all time. The Jerry Lewis roast features incredible barbs from comedy legends. The Johnny Carson DVD is just as hilarious as the skits you remember from The Tonight Show. Visit the website at https://www.classicfriarsroasts.com now to order your celebrity roast videos in time for Thanksgiving. “Like” the Facebook page for links to some classic comedy sketches. Call 866-987-3678 to order your very own collection of Johnny Carson videos and Don Rickles videos.